The Ice Age by Luke Williams

Author:Luke Williams
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: BIO026000, PSY038000, SEL013000
Publisher: Scribe Publications
Published: 2016-05-02T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter Nine

Understanding the lure of crystal meth

THIS IS A surprisingly difficult sentence to write, but here goes: meth has a good side. It is a sentence I have to write, though, because if I am going to tell the story of meth, I have to tell you about all the fun times that I and others have had, and continue to have, on the world’s most powerful stimulant.

I spoke with a number of users from different states in Australia, and from different walks of life, about their experience of meth, and each of them said very similar things about its positive qualities. When I asked one user (who wanted to remain anonymous) about meth’s good side, he said it makes him feel ‘giddy, like I’m in love’ and as if every single cell in his brain ‘is more alive than ever before, more awake, more happy than ever before. I feel like the most entertaining, edgy, cool fucker whoever did live’.

One woman who works a 9–5 office job and maintains a marriage and three kids in the western suburbs of Sydney reported that, for her, taking meth feels like ‘getting something done; I feel this immense sense of pride, as if I’m the smartest and most accomplished person … I feel flawless, and that I haven’t made a single mistake in my whole life’.

If we take her line of reasoning a little further, we could arrive at the following: ‘You can do anything and be anything you want in life with just a sprinkle of meth’. From my experience, I would say this is true, provided you don’t want it done particularly well, and provided that nobody rudely taps you on the shoulder to say ‘it’s all in your fucking head’ — which is unlikely to occur if you surround yourself with other meth users.

Using crystal meth makes it difficult to tell the difference between what is real and what is not. It enables you to construct a fantasy that what other people (who, in reality, are all as self-centred as each other) do and think revolves around you and how good you are. Meth psychosis and its self-centred excesses are really just a more extreme version of the individual narcissism that meth creates.

After the initial rush, meth users are often enraptured by fantasies that they experience as either real, imminently real, or a hidden truth that they have finally discovered. The fantasy world creates the impression of a new, higher, more authentic, and ultimately more satisfying form of meaning. A shot of meth effectively goes straight to the brain, where it quickly forms a bubble cushioning you from the banality of the here-and-now, as well as from the failures and shortcomings of your past life and self. The consequence is that users tend to think of themselves as much more successful than their actual lives would suggest. Crystal meth allows you to become pleasantly confused about who you are, and these daydreams of imminent achievement become so real that they are instantly incorporated into your definition of self.

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